Alex Krycek

Do you think you'd ever be able to take a significant amount of time off from blogging? Or how about just the internet and email?

I have, I do, and I will.

While at the grocery store you bump into an oddly familiar face--it's your evil twin! The evil twin follows you home and tries to convince your family (or friends) that he/she's you. How did you prove to your loved ones that you are the real you and the twin is an imposter?

I didn't pick this one because it was the most appealing choice. It's just the most amusing. Depending on who you speak to, I'm my own evil twin. See, over the course of my career, I've had to put on different faces and create different personas in order to get my work accomplished. I could be a freshfaced angel one day, a traitorous bastard the next. I'm extremely familiar with that look someone gets when they realize that they've just been royally screwed over by yours truly. You know the one. Betrayal, disbelief, anger and embarrassment all wrapped up in a nice little wide-eyed gaze.

So, friends, if I ever bumped into my allegedly evil twin and he followed me home (pretending I actually had a real home with a family or whatever passes for a full life these days), everyone would probably breathe a sigh of relief. Really, anyone but me would be a great change of pace to have around.

Actually, no. Now that I think about it, if some freak with my face followed me home, I'd probably shoot him. I know you just can't trust guys who look like that.

Out of town 'til further notice.

An ear pressed to the door, listening for any movement on the other side. A key eased into the lock and turned. Tumblers click into place and the door is shoved open as a gun is drawn.

No one in Alex's building would think twice about the way he enters his apartment. They're all too busy minding their own business and wallowing in the squalor of their own lives to worry about his. But until everyone on (and off) the planet who wants him dead is gone, he can't take any chances on walking into a trap.

Once the apartment has been cleared, he relaxes a little. The gun will still be on his nightstand when he goes to bed, and his sleep will be light, but for now he knows it's safe to shower, eat and prepare for the next day.

The shower is welcome after a day of running errands - the euphemism he uses to describe his often illicit activities. Today hadn't been as bad as most, his current employer only needing him to play courier, but he had been required to visit some unsavory characters and their equally unsavory surroundings. As many squalid, dank and disgusting places he's been, he's learned to savor the true luxury of a hot shower.

His apartment is spartan, guaranteeing he'll leave no clues behind should he need to make a quick escape. The only extravagance he allows himself is the stack of books next to the threadbare couch. Tonight, it will be Anna Karenina granting him a much needed escape while he eats a simple dinner. The downtime allows him to clear his head and readies him for bed. His sleep will more than likely be restless and not deep enough - carefree, restful sleep is one luxury he will never have - but it will suffice in readying him for another day of this thing he calls his life.

How much is too much?

If mankind had the first clue about how to answer this, there'd be no addictions, no crime, and no wars waged in the pursuit of power, territory and overall domination. By the time you realize you've bitten off more than you can chew, you're in deep shit. If you're lucky, you only end up ruining your life instead of losing it completely.

Or, if you choose to look at this from the angle of human endurance, what constitutes 'too much' depends on physical and mental strength. I can guarantee that what I've been through in my life would be too much for the average man. I also know that there are men who can suffer greater trials than anything I can survive.

'Too much' is relative and too subjective for me to feel comfortable giving a definitive answer. For me, there's no such thing because I've learned too many lessons about my own limits. I will never let myself get to the point where anything is too much for me.